So, how are you? Are you hanging in there?
It’s day… god knows what of this Covid-19 Pandemic “Safer at Home” order put in place by California Governor Gavin Newsom and Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti. But, honestly, I think it’s day 25 or 26? I know my life changed the week of March 16th. This “flu” we all kept hearing about really came into focus for me that week. And, at first it was we all need to “shelter in place” and you’re “safer at home” for two weeks. And, everyone thought, okay, we can do that. What’s two weeks, right? Then the “shelter in place” order became a month. April 19th?! What about our jobs? What about being able to see the people we care about? What about all the plans we had? The Pearl Jam concert I had tickets for at the Forum on April 16th? Going to the gym? Being able to get in my car and go somewhere just because I want to and could. Going to the grocery store without a care in the world. And, then we saw just how bad it had been in Italy and all the people dying. All the people over 60 years of age being left to die, alone, because they didn’t have the resources to help everyone. It became all to real.
I was supposed to start a new three and a half month show on March 27th. But, a week beforehand we were told it’s probably going to be postponed so, if you get another offer, you should take it. Pretty typical verbiage for a freelancer and the hustle we face between booked gigs. Then a week later, our three and a half month project, with constant money coming in, was pushed until “maybe” the Fall. I searched job boards and saw shows and commercial jobs being cancelled left and right. Those lucky enough to have staff jobs were now being told to “work from home”. And, I couldn’t work from home to bid any budgets for potential commercial jobs, because there were no clients willing to travel to sunny California any longer. So, there went my livelihood for who knows how long.
To top it off, I had just moved back into my home at the beginning of March after having construction work to sound proof my ceilings. My house was a mess with dust everywhere, boxes full of my personal items in every room and a hole in my finances to top it off. As a freelancer, you learn to squirrel away money for dry periods. And, even after making it through the financial crisis in 2008, I didn’t think our next dry period in the entertainment industry would be so uncertain as it is now. All I wanted to do was get in my car and drive home up the I-5 to the Bay Area to be with my family. Safety in numbers. But, I couldn’t.
I knew that I needed to take care of business and put my emotions on the back burner for the time being. I had to clean and put my house back together. I had to try to get my house refinanced to save a couple hundred dollars, because every little bit will help. I had to “shelter in place” because as someone with asthma and who gets bronchitis yearly I really was, “safer at home”. And, what if I carried something to my 70 year old mother because I wanted to be closer to everyone? It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I knew it had to be done.
And, this is where I admit I really had a hard time being cut off from everything and everyone at once. I cried, a lot. But, I also know I was not alone in my feelings and emotions. My girlfriends and I have a group text where we communicate daily. Each one of us was feeling the weight of the moment and we all processed it at different times. Some days are definitely better than others. Words can’t express how thankful I am for my girl’s text. We’re all professional and strong women. From a nurse practitioner to a director to a few producers and several small business owners sprinkled in between. We know how to get things done in difficult times.
So, here is what I do to help get through this crazy time. I allow myself to feel my emotions, whatever they might be. Somedays I am more energetic than others. It seems like it’s every other day and that’s okay. I still maintain a daily to-do list. And, even if I don’t do all things on my list, at the very least, I meditate and go for a walk or do a 30-minute exercise program to get those endorphins popping. Speaking of mediation, I joined the Jay Shetty 20 days of meditation on Facebook everyday at 9:30am. The mediation has really helped me feel in control, less alone and reduced my anxiety level. Our 20 days are over as of yesterday, but I’m going to go back and rewatch them online and do them again. I never mediated in my life, but I think I’ve become a believer! I also reach out to my elderly neighbors to make sure they are doing okay and if they need anything at the grocery store. I leave surprise baked goods at their doorsteps, just because. I organized game night or happy hour with my girlfriends over Zoom and FaceTime. It’s been great seeing them on a weekly basis, even through jammed internet signals and sometimes delayed conversations. It’s been great hearing from co-workers and friends near and far just checking in on one another. I’m taking online work webinars to help me feel connected to my work community and keep my brian active and happy. And, I reach out to family via text to see how they are doing while they go to work as ‘essential workers’ and get their daily update on temperature readings. I cook and bake and I love seeing what everyone is making on Instagram or Facebook. If we make it out of this lockdown without gaining 50 lbs, then we’ll call ourselves lucky. I scroll social media once or twice a day and instead of it being all bad news, there’s been some pretty funny meme’s to make us laugh in this strange time. I have started to binge Homeland, since I have Showtime for free until April 19th. Fingers crossed I can get through all eight seasons before then. I call my Dad and Stepmom, like always on Sunday morning’s to chat about what they’ve been up to. We can all assume how that conversation goes as everyone’s calendars are wide open and begging for us to write something on them. And, I FaceTime with my mom several times a day. Because even before this lock down, people were pretty lonely. And, now more than ever we have to stay connected. Whether it’s having dinner together over FaceTime or just chatting about nothing in particular.
Some have said we don’t have to write the next great story or paint the next Mona Lisa while in quarantine. And, their right, we don’t. But, I also know for my own mental health I have to do something creative. So, when I bake sourdough or try a new cookie recipe or cook a delicious meal, it makes me feel better. And, when I go for my daily walk, weather permitting, and pet the neighborhood dog, it makes me feel better too. When I check something off my to-do list that I accomplished for the day, that also makes me feel better. And, limiting my exposure to all the daily news briefings on the TV also makes me feel better. So while I might not read a book a week, because I’ll be too busy watching Homeland, I can read when I want. Or try a new craft project or maybe even clean out my garage when I want. This is a good reset for all of us to do those things we said we always wanted to do but never had time. Whatever we decide to do, that’s okay. We have to remember to be gentle with ourselves right now. And, just do what makes us feel calm, less anxious and to stay connected to all those we care about. We can get through this, together (but, 6 feet apart).
And, when we look back at the Covid-19 Pandemic of 2020, I'll know I did my part to help flatten the curve and helped others along the way.
So, how are you? You hanging in there?